* Underscore importance of continuous marital education
* Unveil new book on “Navigating the Thread of Polygamy”
History was made on Wednesday, August 13, 2025 at Lagos State Community Central Mosque Auditorium, Alausa, Lagos as Nigerians and Kenyans came together to host their first-ever polygamy-focused couples’ dinner in the country.
Themed “Shared Lives, Shared Lessons”, the event brought together couples – some in monogamous unions, others in polygamous households – to share experiences, learn from experts, and foster greater understanding of family life in both nations.
Muslim News gathered that the evening was not only a social gathering but also a platform for marital education, particularly on the principles and realities of polygamy in Islam.
Attendees included religious leaders, counsellors, authors and participants from both Nigeria and Kenya who witnessed the launch of a book, titled; “Navigating the Thread of Polygamy” by Dr. Mujeedat Abdul Haleem Olagunju, Deputy Director of Strategic Planning and Corporate Development at the Voice of Nigeria, and Head of the South West Zone and Professor Tajudeen Yusuf, varsity lecturer and President, Institute of Islamic Finance Professionals, Nigeria.
Why this programme is timely – Dr Abdul Lateef
One of the lead speakers, Dr. Abdul Hakeem Abdul Lateef, Chief Imam of the Lagos State House of Assembly, delivered a speech that explored the social and spiritual significance of marriage, polygamy, and cultural influences on Islamic family life.
Explaining why such a programme was timely, Dr. Abdul Lateef said, “We need it to always address families and family institutions. The issue of marriage is so important to society because it is a marriage that produces children that manage the society or children who damage society. Among those who commit crimes, many are victims of broken homes. Therefore, when we come together like this, we try to cement the relationship between husband and wife.”
On the cultural dynamics influencing polygamy in Nigeria, Dr Abdul Lateef observed: “Culture is good until it contravenes Allah’s decree. In our culture as Yoruba, our people are generally polygamous. Islam regulates it by limiting it to four wives. When you see anything wrong about polygamy, it is not polygamy that is wrong. It is the people practising it.”
The former Chairman of the governing board of the Nigerian Deposit Insurance Corporation (NDIC) highlighted his own family as an example of unity and tolerance, noting that his household of four wives, 20 children, and eight grandchildren live harmoniously without division or favoritism.
“You cannot get to my house and know who gave birth to who. A beautiful family who have learnt tolerance, love, and they do things together.”
Expert underscores importance of continuous marital education
Dr. Sulaimon Ogunmuyiwa, a leading partner at M-Solution Consulting International Limited and one of the panellists, underscored the importance of continuous marital education.
According to him, “There is a great need for marriage education because you can’t go into marriage, and you know that marriage is one institution you go to where you get the certificate before you write the exam. Since you’ve been given the certificate before the exam, it’s good for you to ensure you have a marriage education. Everything in life requires continuous education.”
Dr. Ogunmuyiwa emphasised that couples in polygamous unions should take premarital assessments involving all parties, maintain open channels of communication, and co-create a vision for the family to keep harmony among multiple spouses.
He said, “There must be a vision for the family, which is co-created by all the parties. Even though at the beginning, it is the man that comes with a vision but the moment you have a wife, she must also listen to your vision and see how she can contribute.
“If there is a need to change the direction of the vision, she will contribute. If you have an additional wife, you should also give her the opportunity to contribute to the vision, and in fact, there is no one that will come into a marriage without understanding the vision of the marriage.”
Imam Lekki Central Mosque addresses common misconceptions with polygamy
The Chief Imam of Lekki Central Mosque, Sheikh Dr. Ridwan Jamiu, addressed common misconceptions and the responsibilities that come with polygamy.
He said that “There is no way men will not have more than one wife. Women should be prepared for this. However, polygamy is an allowance in Islam, not a command. Men must ensure they are physically, financially, and psychologically capable before marrying more than one wife.”
Sheikh Jamiu noted that among Muslims, some enter polygamy without adequate understanding, leading to poor handling of the practice and discouraging women from accepting it. “There is no way men will not have more than one wife. Women should be prepared for this,” he said.
On external criticism, the respected Imam mentioned that some non-Muslims are hypocritical, that while they publicly uphold monogamy, many men secretly engage in illegal polygamy.
The Lekki Central Mosque Imam called for honesty in marriage and acceptance of what Allah has allowed, emphasising that it should be approached with knowledge and capability.
He also cautioned women against resisting their husbands’ decision to take a second wife, warning that such opposition could have serious spiritual consequences.
Living with co-wives in harmony, Rahma Wafula relates polygamous experience
From Kenya, Rahma Wafula, an entrepreneur and psychological counsellor, shared her own polygamous marriage experience as a first wife living in harmony with her co-wives.
She stated, “It’s a good experience for me because, as a Muslim, it is something that Allah has allowed. I’m not saying it’s easy, but since I have found myself in it, then I think of how to make things easier for myself, my husband, and co-wives.”
The Co-founder Beyond Polygamy recalled how she warmly welcomed her co-wives into the family, attending their nikaah and maintain a sisterly relationship.
“I was already 15 years old in the marriage, when my husband wanted to marry another one, he informed me and I was asked to meet a sister whom I knew. We met, had conversations, and I opened all the doors for her. I attended the nikkah session, and I took her around to other family members. To date, if I need anything from her, I can give her a call. We relate well, like sisters.
“Two years ago, my husband married another wife and we also met. I even invited her and the second wife to the conference. Once in a while, we visit each other. We have a good relationship.”
On polygamy in Kenya, Wafula noted that Muslims make up less than 40% of the population, adding that polygamy isn’t openly practiced and relatively rare in Kenya compared to Nigeria. She admitted, however, that while some Muslims and non-Muslims have more than one wife, many do it secretly.
My journey into the project began in 2023 – Author
The dinner also marked the launch of “Navigating the Thread of Polygamy” – a 100-page book co-authored by Dr. Mujeedat Abdul Haleem Olagunju and Professor Tajudeen Yusuf.
Dr. Abdul Haleem-Olagunju explained that her journey into the project began after attending the 2023 “Beyond Polygamy” conference in Kenya, where she met Ms. Rahma Wafula, Ms. Lula Aginga and other Kenyan sisters who later travelled to Nigeria for the first-ever polygamy, couples’ dinner in Lagos.
The Deputy Director at VON expressed gratitude to Allah for the success of the just concluded programme on polygamy awareness and book launch.
Highlighting her personal experience, Dr Abdul Haleem-Olagunju stressed that polygamy, like every other aspect of Islam, is complete and without mistakes, adding that people should learn what polygamy is, be ready for its challenges, and remember that Allah will try them with things that they love.
The evening, blending cultural exchange, religious guidance, and marital counselling, set a new precedent in Nigeria’s marital discourse – uniting voices from Lagos to Nairobi in the shared goal of strengthening families through knowledge, faith, and mutual respect.
The dinner was sponsored by Hajj Mabrur Ventures (HMVL), Zakat and Sadaqat Foundation, Guild of Muslin Professional (GMP), Mosque Pay, Al-Mu’minaat, Muslim Students’ Society of Nigeria, Lagos State Area Unit, Hijab Rights Advocacy Initiative (HRAI) and M Solution Consulting International Limited.
Other dignitaries at the dinner
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