BLACK. MUSLIM. WOMAN. By Fatimah Abdulwahab

I am BLACK
I am Muslim
I am a woman
Coming into this Dunya I was a ball of contradictions
Always asked how I came from this well melanated line
A line where Melanin was plowed into our DNA
A line of Melanated Negro with skins that glimmered in sunlight
Where was my unmelated-melanated skin from
But little did I know, my birth was just a pre-amble 

But…
I’m a Black Muslim woman and I’m proud
I’m a Black Muslim woman and I’m loud
I’m a Black Muslim woman who’s unhinged
And I’m a Black Muslim woman who’s vowed
Vowed to put an end to racism 

Growing up people would ask me
“How are you even a muslim??”
I thought you were black girl!”
Like my black identity somehow clashes with my Muslim identity
Like being black and Muslim were mutually exclusive
As if the pioneers of this Deen weren’t my melanated brothers
Like Bilal Bn raba wasn’t known for his black Mohagany skin
Screaming Ahadun Ahad as he was beaten for this deen
Like Khabab bn arrat didn’t  bear holes in his back so better days could be seen
Or umm Ayman who the prophet himself saw as a mother figure
Like Allah didn’t use intention with every pigment in my skin
Every Melanocyte bursting with rich creamy color
Color your melanin deficient minds could not even fathom
These Hips holding on to my lineage of my ancestors
Bringing islam into this country while being forced into slavery

But…
I’m a Black Muslim woman and I’m proud
I’m a Black Muslim woman and I’m loud
I’m a Black Muslim woman who’s unhinged
And I’m a Black Muslim woman who’s
Devout

A devout muslim trying to find their place in this world
A muslim who’s not perfect but still trying her very best
Feeding my soul with knowledge but still feeling ignorant
Taking in the sunnah
 like I do with my oxygen
Savoring each breath like the sweetness of watermelon 

But bitterness has blinded you, blinded you to my struggle
Like a stage 4 cancer resistant to tamoxifen
Filled with hatred for me that even, haterade could not quench
picking out my flaws since your life is a big mess
But I’m sorry, you cannot live vicariously through me
I’m not your ABEED that you can ridicule as you please
Because I know My UBBUDIYYA is only to the creator
So If you cannot be at peace without ridiculing me
then maybe peace is saving itself from all your terror

But…
I’m a Black Muslim woman and I’m proud
I’m a Black Muslim woman and I’m loud
I’m a Black Muslim woman who’s not scared
And I’m a Black Muslim woman who will be feared

Feared by every coward that wants to use the N-word as a smear
I see you!
Yeah you!
Looking at me with those intimidating eyes
Trying to make me a slave to your obedience
Trying to silence my words but Imma still be resilient
I can tell you these eyes are blind to the dirty looks
These ears are deaf to those filthy words
I’m unapologetically Black and muslim
And I’m  refusing to accept apologies
Apologies that aren’t followed with some corn bread and fried chicken
Cuz that only serves as a testament to how black I am

I’m a Black Muslim woman and I’m proud
I’m a Black Muslim woman and I’m loud