Imam Ridwanullah Jamiu, the Chief Imam, Lekki Central Mosque has said being successful in marriage is what every couple desires, but not everyone will acquire that status.
Imam Jamiu however, noted that those who follow the guidance of the Qur’an and Sunnah in their marital lives will attain that success in this life and the hereafter.
According to the Imam, “The husband should do everything possible to ensure that his wife finds the good of this world — happiness, prosperity. The wife too should ensure that she does everything possible to make her husband happy in this world. The husband should strive to ensure that his wife gets the good of the hereafter — Aljannah — and the wife does the same thing. And both of them keep away from what will lead them to hell fire.
Speaking on habits husbands and wives should cultivate, he said, “First, both should fulfil each other’s needs. They should be dutiful and responsible for the sake of Allah. The second one is, they should communicate well. Communication is very important in marriage; we don’t keep malice. When we communicate, we should always be polite even if we have misunderstandings.
“Another thing is, we have to be honest and faithful. We should not be indulging in adultery or fornication whether we are married or not, but especially when we are married. We should not cheat on our spouses. Infidelity has destroyed so many homes.
“We also need to be tolerant of each other because we all have weaknesses. If we focus on the negative aspects of each other, we will not see the positives and it may lead to divorce. We should also learn to appreciate each other. Anyone who does something that makes you happy, appreciate it. It’s very important in marriage.
“We should ensure we make dua’ for each other. Whenever we are having challenges, the first way to go is to report it to Allah before involving outsiders in it. Some are so quick to involve others in their marital issues instead of involving Allah first for guidance,” he added.
Sheikh Ridwan Jamiu admonished ladies that if they want to have successful marriages, they should be prepared for polygyny, as he called on mothers not to delay getting their daughters married as mathna (second wives) once they have found responsible men for them.
Speaking on the justification for the call, he said, Everyone wants happiness and nobody knows where happiness is tied to. So, many people are into monogamy, yet they are not happy. While some are married to many wives and they have a happy home. So, nobody can say this is where happiness lies. The most important thing is that where you find a righteous man who comes to you, even though the person has a wife already; as long as he’s competent, capable, righteous, marry him. What is important is to find joy in marriage and to find a man who will lead you to Allah and Jannah”.
“The same thing if a man comes to us, asking for our hands to marry our daughter; we should not say that the man is already married and discourage our daughter from him. You don’t know what Allah has written down for your daughter; maybe that’s where she will find happiness.
“The Prophet (SAW) has told us that by end times, we are going to have so many women than men. So, when we have more women than men, what do we do with other women who will not find husbands to marry them? When we have men that are capable, righteous and have had successes in their first marriages, we should not discourage them from marrying our wards.”
Bullying in school: Imam Nojeem Jimoh calls on parents to keep close relationship with children
The Imam of Lighthouse Mosque, Lekki, Imam Nojeem Jimoh has called on parents to keep close relationships with their children for them to become upright and modest.
Muslim News findings revealed that the issue of bullying has come to the front burner of public discourse with the story of Sylvester Oromoni (jnr.) of Dowen College, Lagos, who was suspected to have been bullied by his colleagues, leading to his tragic death.
Imam Jimoh, while speaking with the media after speaking on the topic on parenting in Islam, said parents need to pay attention to their children because they might not be bullies, but being bullied in their respective schools.
“I want parents to know that while some students have been identified as bullies, chances are there that parents didn’t know their children were bullies. And it’s well possible that some of our children are being bullied as well, but just because we have never paid attention to this aspect of their life.”
The Imam noted that though parenting has a lot to do with the making of a child, other factors contribute essentially to it.
He said some parents have raised children who are modest, but are tried with a child who takes the position of the black sheep in the family.
“Parenting has a lot to do with it. Awareness is another key factor. And the school has a responsibility to make sure that anything of such isn’t taking place on their premises. The same parent may have raised other children who are modest – either they are younger or older. Even a child that is ordinarily innocent can become a bully if he keeps company of bullies.
“I know Muslims who have raised 3-4 children to be model children and then, there will be this one child from the same home that will just become a trial on the parents. Would we now say because of that one child the parent are a failure? In the UK, I know Muslim children who have gone into drugs; the one admitted into mental homes and I know other model children from the same parents.
“So it’s a combination of factors but again, where there is gap in the relationship between parents and children, the chances of this children going wayward so much so that things would have gone beyond redemption is there – a real possibility. So, parents have to be close to their children.”
The eloquent Islamic scholar lamented the manner at which teaching has been made to be an all-comer affair in Nigeria, saying it’s supposed to be a professional calling.
“Education is supposed to be a professional calling. People who haven’t been trained to be teachers aren’t expected to teach. In the UK for instance, you can’t be a teacher who isn’t qualified. After your degree, if it’s not in education, you go for another training, maybe a diploma, to become a teacher.
“But in here in Nigeria, majority are in teaching because they just couldn’t find any other job. So they just go for any available job, including teaching. The training would have afforded them opportunity to see things before they happen. Because they lack some things, they will also become innocent victims of the crimes,” he added.
In case you missed other discourse at the December, 2021 edition of LEMU Quarterly Da’wah Workshop, click HERE
